My eyes are blurry. I think it's because of all the dilaudid I am on. I have a PCA of the stuff and that little button gets me through the day and helps me sleep at night. Mucositis, progesterone cramps, body aches all plague me constantly. It is Day 12, though, which means I am about halfway through the hospital time, and nearly to engraftment. Once the marrow has engrafted and starts making me blood cells, my pain will subside and the fatigue that has a grip on my body will begin to lift.
There's not a lot to report today. My platelets and hematocrit are low enough to likely require a blood transfusion. I have already received two platelet units this week, but transfusions are normal and expected. The sores in my mouth are starting to heal, but my throat and stomach are still raw. My hair is falling out. I buzzed it all off my head because it was starting to look patchy and now it looks buzzed and patchy which I think is a slight improvement. I have to wear a hat to keep warm. Who knew being bald would be so chilly?
The window in my room is massive and lets a lot of light in. I can see boats on the water from my bed, past the backside of the new Husky stadium. When the sky is very clear I can see the Cascades on the horizon. I love being so high up on the seventh floor because the gulls hover at this height and swoop past my window all day. It's like being in a giant, HEPA filtered nest.
I attended arts & crafts time with my mom today. We made shell-covered picture frames and mirrors. I think Mom should put the picture she took of me making my frame in my frame. Meta, baby. I have been knitting a bit, as well. I made myself a cute cotton hat and am working on re-working the baby socks I messed up a while back that I am making for my nearly-here second cousin. It's hard to concentrate because I am always tired or have shaky hands from fatigue. It's nice to be productive, though.
Some cards and small gifts have shown up in the mail lately. Thank you! I love reading the kind notes from my friends and pinning the cards to my cork board. They live next to the chart that records my blood counts and another that records the number of laps I have done around the ward. I have walked a little over three miles! It's funny what gives me joy these days. Not surprising to love getting mail, though. It's a lovely feeling to have concrete proof that people are thinking of me and sending positive vibrations through the universe at my healing body.
The strain on my eyes is giving me a headache, so that's all for now. Thank you for your well wishes and know I love you all!